Swing, Swang, Swung
by Pandora's Box Is Heavy
Summary: Two wrongs don't make a right, but immaturity can make a pretty entertaining story. Riley's aunt, Bella Swan, and Bree's dad, Edward Cullen, hit it off from the start, but their tale has only just begun.


**A new story in celebration of Happy Sunday**

**No real update schedule. Just a cute little story about immaturity, fathering a sixteen year old girl and falling in love with your daughter's best friend's aunt. **

**Chapter One**

_**Bloody Teenagers**_

"Your mom is going to kill me… we're talking rusty shovel to the head... bone saw dismemberment and fed to the sharks kind of kill." I ramble as I watch her blow dry her hair.

Her florescent, blue, fucking hair.

Her hazel eyes meet mine in the mirror and her lips form that smirk… the one that makes me want to lash out and slap her upside her head.

Her Smurf blue head.

I groan.

"Aunt Bella." she giggles. "Since when are you afraid of my mother?"

"Never. But that's not the point. Your hair is blue Riley… Blue, like a bag of cotton candy, blue."

She rolls her eyes and reaches for her hair straightener.

"It's my birthday. We're going to a concert. I wanted to do something wild."

"Psh. something wild, says the fourteen year old that just signed my death certificate." I roll my eyes and hand her a rhinestone encrusted bow. "You dyed my bathtub blue too."

Her eyes roll for the millionth time since we got back from the beauty supply store.

"I already told you a cap full of bleach will take care of that. I'll handle the parentals okay?" I nod. "Alright. Let's go pick up Breezy and get this show on the road."

I stomp into my boots and watch her steal half of my collection of rubber bracelets. She pulls them onto her dainty wrist and gives me the stink eye.

"You are seriously wearing those?"

I look down at my brand new boots... a splurge purchase after the hellacious week I've had.

I take a peek at her tattered and torn converse. I'm pretty sure at this point there's more duct tape than there is canvas.

Teenagers.

"What's wrong with my shoes? They're comfy." I wiggle my toes to prove my point.

"I'm talking about those mom jeans Auntie-oh-mine... you can't be serious."

"They are roomy."

She shakes her head. "No. Boyfriend jeans are roomy those are a freaking circus tent. Go put on that pair of skinnies mom got you for your birthday."

"Hi. I don't know if you remember me but I'm your elder. Stop bossing me around _fetus_."

She snorts. "Please go change."

"What's in it for me?"

"I'll change Cooter's litter box for a week." She checks her cellphone. "Hurry we're going to be late."

"Make it two weeks and I'll change into those constricting spandex fabrics you and your mom seem to love these days."

"Fine. Go. I'm going to call Bree."

I rush to my bedroom and pull the gift bag out of the bottom of my closet. The jeans are brand new; still have the tags on them. It takes me a good five minutes to get them over my hips and another five to try to break them in. I squat, jump around and sit on my bed before deeming them as comfortable as they're going to get.

"Okay. We're leaving now. Like right now. Bye bi-atch." Riley slides her phone shut and gives me a once over. "Oooh, hot Auntie."

"Shut your mouth. Is this best friend of yours ready?"

"Uh-huh." We gather our things and convene in the car.

"So tell me about this girl."

"I've known Bree since I was like four or something. I could have sworn you've met her before…" Riley explains as she resets every one of the channels on my radio.

"Why am I only seeing her now? I've been in town for weeks."

She sighs and points to a street right along the river bank.

The houses are huge and the cars in the massive driveways are super fancy.

"Drive until you reach the big white house with green shutters and tree swing in the yard." she instructs before tossing her head back into the headrest. "Bree's mom and dad are currently battling for custody of her. She's been with her mom most of the summer."

I snap my fingers. "That… that right there is why I never want to get married. Divorce and custody battles are the plague of our generation."

"Edward never married Jane." Riley argues. "He had Bree since she was born and all of a sudden a couple months ago mommy dearest shows up on the doorstep demanding visitation. Bree spent the entire summer down in Orlando locked in a crap-tastic apartment. She didn't even get to go to City Walk. Can you believe that?"

"Why does she want her daughter so bad if she's just going to lock her away?" I pull into the driveway of a massive house and beep the horn twice.

"Bree thinks her mom just wants some of Edward's money. He banks... like big time." Riley squeals when the front door opens. "That's why I insisted that she come with us. She had a really crappy summer vacation and I totes missed her. Kay?"

I nod and watch a tiny little girl exit the house with a tattered backpack. She's dressed in the same white trash emo way that Riley is but her long copper locks hang in ringlets down her back, fluorescent dye free. I side eye my niece and her aqua hued hair, before turning back to the girl running towards my car.

The first thing I notice behind the caked black eyeliner is her sea green eyes and the happiness that shines through at the sight of Riley.

They squeal over her new rebellious hair and bitch about the long summer apart.

"Where's your dad, Sweetheart?" I ask leaning over the console and breaking up the love fest going on.

Bree leans down and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear with a nervous smile. "He's on the phone with his lawyer. He didn't want to keep us waiting so he said to tell you he'd talk with you when we get back to the hotel after the concert."

"Oh. Okay."

Riley opens the back passenger door with a flourish and all but shoves her friend inside.

"Unless you need to speak with him," Bree rushes. "He gave me money for food and the hotel and I have his credit card in case there's an emergency."

"No, Sweetheart, that's fine." I assure her. "I'm sort of relieved. I've never chaperoned and didn't know how the whole meet the parent's thing is supposed to go. And pocket that money alright? This concert is my treat for Rye's birthday."

She nods and puts her seat belt on.

"Aunt Bella is so frackin' cool Bree. You're going to love her." Riley sings. "She got us a hotel room right across the street from the concert and we're having sushi catered to the room when we get back. Ack love me some California roll."

She throws her head back and rubs her stomach with a happy smile.

I'm subject to the twenty minute ride with two teenagers that haven't seen each other in two months. They talk fast, high pitched, in lingo I'll probably never understand and I can't get a word in even if I tried.

We pull into the hotel's parking lot and check in. Riley is excited to go stand in line before the venue opens so we decide to leave our things in the car to pick up after the concert. We hand over our tickets, get patted down for weapons and receive our wrist bands.

We buy shirts as soon as we enter the complex and I buy them signed copies of the album.

"I'm really sorry girls. I tried getting you V.I.P. tickets but they were sold out by the time I looked." I say handing them each a copy.

"Are you kidding? Dude we're here at a freaking The Black Keys concert!" Riley squeals earning a few hard glares from people passing by. "We've been like infatuated with them since we heard them in the beginning of that vamp movie my mom loves so much."

Bree smiles widely. "Twilight. I hope they play Chop and Change… That would be so cool."

"I'm sure they will. Come on doll faces." They stash our swag in Riley's giant shoulder bag and lace their fingers with mine.

We push and fight our way to the middle of the middle. Not too close to the speakers to hinder our ability to hear the music but close enough to see the band.

People start getting a little pushy and it starts to dawn on me exactly where we're standing.

"Hey guys! This is the first concert I've attended in eight years so correct me if I'm wrong." I say as the opening band makes their entrance. "But aren't we in the thick of the mosh pit area?"

Before the first song can even begin and before we can high tale it out of the danger zone we're pushed and pulled as people try to advance the stage. I take a knee to the spine and watch as Bree catches an elbow with her face.

Riley pulls us through the crowd and I take a moment to assess the damage.

"Shit balls!" I exclaim looking at Bree's split lip that's already swollen. "Your dad is going to kill me and we haven't even met."

"It's fine." Bree assures me wiping the blood off on the sleeve of her shirt.

Riley's aquamarine colored hair and the trouble I'll be in when her mother sees it is the farthest thing on my mind. All I can think about is the man that's currently battling for custody of his little girl. The same little girl I just let get her face smashed. Screw getting murdered by rusty tools, he's probably going to have me arrested for child endangerment.


End file.
